The Married Ones
by tealeavesandmoonlight
Summary: Jim and Seb are the married ones next door. John meets them on a late night Tesco's run. In response to this prompt:
1. Married Ones

"John, John wake up."

John rolled over and slammed the pillow over his head. _If I ignore him eventually he will go away... maybe._ Unfortunately John was not so lucky, Sherlock gave him thirty seconds to respond and then decided to pounce. He landed on John's bed with a slight _oof_and scooted closer. He pulled the pillow off of John's head and proceeded to lay across his torso.

"Joooooohn we need milk. I need it for an experiment and we are all out."

John sighed and pushed the lanky consulting detective off of him and onto the floor. "Bugger off Sherlock, 'm sleeping."

"Not any more! I need milk John. Now. I Need it. It's... vital." Sherlock was now crouched by the bed peering over the edge mere inches from John's face.

"Get it yourself Sherlock! You have legs, why don't you use them to go to Tesco's and buy your own damn milk?"

"Because that's your job John. I'm much too busy to get the milk. Besides I don't even know it's location in Tesco's, it would be much more expedient if you went yourself."

"Bloody hell Sherlock it's three am!" Sherlock pouted his eyes becoming what was commonly referred to as "puppy dog eyes". _Damn it_. "Fine Sherlock, I'll go! but you better damn well be grateful!"

Sherlock smiled wolfishly, "Oh I am." Before John had time to properly process that Sherlock had flounced out of the room, presumably back to the kitchen to work on his experiment.

John rolled out of bed and pulled a jumper from a drawer. Grumbling he yanked it over his head and stumbled down the stairs towards the front door. _Fucking genius and his adorable face and ability to make me do anything he wants. Damn him._John tried to ignore the fact that he had just thought of Sherlock's face as adorable as he pulled on his coat.

"Oh, John? Do you think you could also get some honey? We're clean out." Sherlock's pouty voice drifted from the kitchen.

"Oh sure Sherlock, do you want the whole of Tesco's? No of course I don't mind going at three am in the bloody morning!" John muttered under his breath.

"No I just want the milk and honey, but it was good of you to offer."

Bloody wanker had the hearing of a bat.

It was colder than John had expected outside and the street was clear of people. _Not surprising at this time of night._As he rounded the corner he saw two men walking down the block towards him, arm in arm. One was a small man with a high pitched giggle and the other a tall blonde with a military baring. John stuffed his hands in his pockets and made his way towards Tesco's and past the couple. As he drew near he heard the smaller man call out his name.

"John! Oh look Sebby it's the friend of that beautiful man I met the other day! You know, the one I told you that you would like?" The small man pulled the other along by his hand towards John. As they met under the street lamp John recognized him. It was Jim from IT, the man who had been dating Molly and who Sherlock had accused of being gay. Obviously Sherlock had been right.

"Now don't be jealous Seb, you know you're the only one I _really_want." Jim winked and kissed the tall man, Seb, on the cheek blushing and giggling as he pulled away.

"Hullo Jim." John said dully, looking around for some way of escaping the two. His only desire right now was to get to Tesco's, get the bloody shopping done and go home. He was far too polite to say so though.

Jim giggled again. "I do love the polite one's! Hmmm... oh yes! John this is Sebastian, my husband. We live just up the street. We're just getting home. Sometimes Sebby likes to keep me up all hours!" He winked again and giggled maniacally while the man next to him made a small noise between a grunt of affirmation and a snort.

"I thought you were dating Molly?" Even though John just wanted this encounter to end he was concerned, Molly was a nice girl and John didn't want her to be hurt by this Jim.

"Oh Molly's a friend and you know she wanted some help." John stared at him blankly. "To make Sherlock jealous you know. Speaking of, what are you doing out at this time of night without your delicious flatmate?" John saw the muscles in Sebastian's jaw tighten imperceptibly, _someone has a jealousy problem._

"Just getting some groceries, you know a late night run. Sherlock wanted milk and honey and so off I went. The tosser wouldn't leave me alone."

"Jim can be the same way sometimes. He does like getting his way." John glanced over to Sebastian in surprise. It was the first time he had spoken in this entire odd conversation. John looked him up and down, there was something about the man he didn't quite trust.

"So you must live near here then?" Jim said eyes bright.

"Sherlock and I share the flat at 221 B." As soon as he said this John instantly regretted it. Now these two would be hanging around trying to catch glimpses of Sherlock. The prospect of that besides being annoying, also made John's gut twist with jealousy. _What is going on with me?_

Jim positively squealed with delight. "We live right next door!" _So these were the married one's Mrs. Hudson had been referring to_. "Isn't that just wonderful Sebby? We can become friends, and visit each other, and have parties! Oh this is so lovely!" Sebastian looked as horrified at the prospect as John felt.

Sebastian cleared his throat and wrapped his arm around Jim's waist. "Jim don't you think we better let John go? It's very late and if Sherlock's anything like you he'll be getting impatient waiting." He gave John a grin that seemed far to full of teeth, "Goodnight Dr. Watson. Come along Jim." He pulled Jim aways and towards their flat.

"Bye John! Tell Sherlock I said hi! If you want to come over just give us a call, Sherlock has my number!" With one last wink over his shoulder and a giggle Jim and Sebastian were gone rounding the corner down the street.

John pulled his collar up and resumed his march towards Tesco's. a few steps later he stopped suddenly struck by an odd thought. _I don't remeber telling Jim or Sebastian that I was a doctor, or my last name._With a shrug John banished the though from his mind and continued on.

Jim closed the door to the flat he was sharing with Sebastian for the time being and began howling with laughter. He doubled over cackling maniacally and slid down the wall ending up on the ground.

"Ooooh Seb that was just too good! Little Johnny boy didn't suspect a thing, did he?" Standing up he wiped the tears from his eyes, a testament to how much he enjoyed their little charade tonight.

Sebastian chuckled, "It certainly was fun, me playing the jealous husband, you the over-excited and infatuated glitter boy."

Jim walked towards Sebastian eyes dangerous. "But Seb I do love glitter." He neared his husband and abruptly grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled Seb's neck back exposing his neck. He licked from his collarbone to his ear where he stopped and blew into his ear ever so lightly. "And I thought you were my jealous husband." Jim pulled back and Sebastian grinned his feral hunting smile that turned Jim on so much.

"Oh you know that's true Jim."

"Then show me."

John trudged up the steps to their flat the Tesco bag with milk and honey in one hand. Suddenly his phone buzzed in his hand. He looked at the screen and found a text from Sherlock.

_John I also need earplugs. _  
><em>Alarming noises coming from<em>  
><em>married ones next door.<em>  
><em>SH<em>


	2. Not Again

The lights of the club glint off the mirrors on the walls reflecting back the sweating and gyrating bodies packed into the dance floor. There is a certain kind of smell that comes with these clubs. It's a mix of alcohol, sweat, body sprays, and sex that is equal parts disgusting and arousing.

"Sherlock I'm going to get a drink. Want one?"

Even though John had shouted at top volume his words had been lost; swept up by the crowd and the thrum of music currently bending the tall body of Sherlock Holmes to its every whim.

Sometimes John has to take a break from the almost violent sway of the dancers. He's never been bothered by this need; it's almost as much fun to watch the interplay between the men as it is to be in the thick of it.

John had been surprised when Sherlock had announced that they were going to this particular club and even more surprised with his outfit for the night. Leather stretched skin-tight across the consulting detective's long legs. The pants coupled with his tight fitting purple button up did interesting things to John's body. John no longer worried about the way he had begun reacting to Sherlock; the man was an enigma, who could blame themself for being drawn to him in such a way?

As John sat at the bar sipping a cold beer he realized that not only were men circled around Sherlock watching his body undulate beneath the spinning lights, they also appeared to be gathered around another man who John couldn't seem to get a glimpse of. Soon enough a gap appeared in the crowd giving John a spectacular view of the attraction.

A small dark haired man was grinding against a tall blonde. The moves Sherlock were doing may have been hot, but what these two men were doing was positively pornographic. Their hips were moving in smooth thrusts against each other, their mouths unattached only when the smaller man threw his head back and gasped, their hands roamed obviously between each other's clothing stroking and tugging. John, like the other men in the club, was mesmerized.

The smaller dark haired man broke away with a shove and began twirling in circles like a whirling dervish. He stopped for a second and that's when John recognized him. It was Jim. Jim from IT. Jim from next door.

"Bloody hell."

Just as John recognized the annoying little man Jim's eyes snapped open catching John's.

"Shit."

Jim grabbed the tall man's hand (presumably Sebastian, his husband) and shoved his way through the crowd towards John.

"John! I didn't know you came here!" Jim stood in front of John in an even more skin tight outfit than Sherlock; John hadn't thought such a thing was possible but the evidence was right in front of him. His white jeans must have been painted on and his shirt was thin enough to be completely see through. Sebastian was dressed much more casually in a beef-eater and what appeared to be old army camo pants.

"So, did you come here alone or did you bring that delicious boyfriend here with you for some fun? I would sure love to see him in action." Jim winked and giggled lightly, showing pointed teeth that managed to catch the lights.

Sebastian cleared his throat lightly and gave Jim a pointed look.

"Oops! Sorry. Seb says I can be a little bit over-sexed, but I say can there ever be too much sex?"

John tried to smile. He really did. Somehow though he ended up feeling as if his face was cracking in half. Usually John liked people in general, most were a good lot, but there was something about this Jim, and even his husband, that caused John's skin to crawl.

"Nice to see you two. Looked like you were having fun out there."

Sebastian chuckled in a sort of rumbling rusty-sounding way.

"Oh yes. Jim is quite a dancer."

"Seems to be." John set his now empty beer down and decided to make a break for it. "Well, gotta get back on the floor myself. Bye."

Suddenly Jim's hand shot out and gripped John's upper arm in a claw like vice. He looked into the spritely man's eyes; they were dead, flat and hard as a doll's eyes. John's heart felt as if it had been injected with ice. He had seen that sort of look in some men's eyes back in Afghanistan; those men were the type that relished the kill, the type that you stayed far away from.

"Not so fast Johnny boy" Jim's voice was smooth and oiled, "where's Sherly?"

"Right here."

Jim let John go and as suddenly as the change had come over him he was back to his usual self giggling and batting his eyes up at Sherlock.

"Why hello again gorgeous."

"What were you doing with John?" Sherlock's voice was sharper than his cheekbones, his eyes furious as they glared down upon a simpering Jim.

"Oh just interrogating Johnny about your whereabouts. A little harmless fun. Sorry if I got too rough; I'm a little hard to control sometimes in that area." Another salacious wink.

"Keep your hands off of him. Come along John."

Sherlock marched off, dragging John behind him out into the middle of the floor. Once there he began moving, roughly crashing his body against John's to the beat of the reverberating bass. John saw caught up in the movement, drug along by Sherlock into the sweating, pounding madness. Sherlock grabbed John's hips and drug them to his own swaying them back and forth. He leaned down to John's ear.

"I couldn't stand to see the way he put his hands on you John. I'll kill him if he touches you again."

Somehow their mouths found each other and they were kissing. John's hands tangled in Sherlock's hair and pulled his face closer then shoved him away with a gasp.

"Bathroom. Now."

He grabbed Sherlock's hand and, this time, it was him dragging Sherlock, dragging him off the dance floor, down the hall, and into the bathroom. Which, much to their surprise was already occupied with an equally, if not more, amorous couple than they.

"Seb, god yes!" the door to the first stall rattled on its hinges in a way that seemed highly likely to break it. " Harder! Bite me, right there bite" the voice suddenly stopped, bitten off by a high pitched sort of moan-scream. The noise was followed by intelligible mutterings coming from the other man currently occupied in what seemed like some very good sex.

John pulled Sherlock out back the way they came.

"Umm I guess that will have to wait till the flat."

"Oh no John, we are going to wait right here until they finish which, judging by the pitch of the moans, won't be too long."

oOo

"Mmmm Sebby I think somebody's listening in." Jim whispered into Sebastian's ear as the other man bit him once more on the neck. "Better. Make. This. Good. Uhhhh Faster, ohhh!"

Seb just chuckled and complied with his husband's wishes. "Like this?"

"YES!"

Seb gasped as Jim dug his nails into his back, he could feel blood slowly oozing out of the scratches and the matching bite marks on his own neck. He just smiled and fucked Jim harder.

oOo

John had felt extremely uncomfortable waiting for the two men to finish in the bathroom. On the one hand just looking at Sherlock had him half-hard at this point, but on the other voyeurism was not his thing.

Finally the door opened and the two men came out. And of course, because this was the life of John H. Watson, it was Jim and Seb.

Both men looked extremely rumpled and extremely smug.

"All yours boys!" Jim sing-songed as he waved them into the bathroom. His fingertips were slightly red, almost as if stained with recent blood. But just as soon as John thought this Jim and Sebastian rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight. He was a bit concerned but didn't get to dwell upon the fact because soon enough his mind and body were otherwise occupied. Sherlock was just as talented as his dancing had promised.


End file.
